Here I go again on my own...

Now that I've included an obligatory 80's hair band lyric let's get down to the meaning of it. I found my new apartment today and by the weekend I will be living completely by myself for the first time...well ever. In college I always had roommates and then I had Astrid. After the split I took a few months at my mom's (something I swore would only happen if disaster struck, I guess this qualified) to rest up and just get my shit in order. It was a good thing overall I think, I needed some time to just feel some kind of foundation under me again because this process is pretty stressful/soul draining.  The apartment is nice and thinking about things I can finally afford to buy to furnish it is cool but it's going to be very odd at first to be all by myself. Having other people around has kept me sane but it's time I get out there. I will post some pictures of the new place after I get some shit moved in there. 

Sexy Fun Times Ad Pt 2

As my 1.3 faithful readers will recall last week I posted a sexy fun Craigslist Ad trolling for booty. Amazingly I actually got responses....from spambox hookers. The following exchange was too good to not post here for all to see.

From: <summerbaxter@fstmail.info>Date: Thu, Nov 13, 2008 at 6:44 PMSubject: A night of unforgettable passion in my Mom's basement! - m4w - 23 (Wichita)

Just needed to get in touch!I'm Summer, in my 20's, medium height, pretty tits & just looking for a fun evening!There appears to be some strange guys about so I just need 2 ensure you're normal!!Providing you are, I would be pleased 2 hear from u & perhaps talk on the telephone, maybe even meet up...If you'd some photos, phone number and extra about me... get right back!!xx

Naturally I found her interest amusing and so here was my quick reply.

Summer,

As it seems you haven not taken the time to read my ad seeing as you can be quoted as saying "there appears to be some strange guys about so I just need 2 ensure you're normal!!" Clearly you never read my ad because if you had at no point would you have thought to yourself "Now HERE is the normal man I've been looking for. Summer, I am in fact a man who enjoys the finer things in life and your alleged "pretty tits" would indeed be something I would wish to explore further however I must admit that you seem to be nothing more than a spam bot albeit a charming and perky one. My best wishes for your future success in landing some poor chap's credit card # and may the holidays bring you good cheer.

Happy Holidays,
Dylan Jones

Fortunately, this hasn't been the only interest in the lover living in his mom's basement and future posts just might detail the best responses my ad procured from the female population of South Central KS.

Calling all Ladies!

I've decided to stop go out after dates but rather to let the ladies flock to me.

Check out my ad and if you think you can handle all of this

Then holler at me. I'll be waiting!

Manly Man Project

In my continuing effort to become more tool adapt this winter I am going to be building a bar for my apartment. I've picked the design and purchased the plans so the next step is to mill the wood and then begin construction. When I'm done it should look like that but instead of costing almost 2,000 to buy completed I'm thinking I can get it done for around 500 bucks.

A Good Day

Maybe its the election, maybe is the fact I had a good night last night in other ways or it could just be that time is starting to heal old wounds but tonight I wasn't doing anything special when suddenly a feeling I haven't had in a long long time came back. I felt like myself. Not the guy who was worn down by a failing marriage and all the pressure and pain that can bring but me.  Right now I feel very detached and inside my own head but it's all calm inside there and I'm at peace.It's comforting to just feel normal again you know?  It's rather nice and tonight I feel sure that things are going to be alright again soon.

Meh

I know its been sometime since I updated this thing but I haven't figured out what to say. I suppose tonight's post is a cop out then but this song is pretty fitting of my mood. 

Tarkio- Save Yourself 

Here there is no revelry
The sadness needs no leavening
So loose your boots and sit yourself down
Deep inside the water tank
Over by the riverbank
There I saw my little girl drown

Call it a detour
Ugly and impure
Save yourself
Where is the life line
Here on the highline
Save yourself

I came back here at 24
My friends all say what you're doing this for
Well my father died and passed this shit to me
Rub my hands in turpentine
My prospect's now being undermined
With bankers knocking daily at my door

Call it a detour
Ugly and impure
Save yourself
Where is the life line
Here on the highline
Save yourself

Lost inside the peloton
With the Jerry Lewis telethon
Ticking soft till I fall fast asleep
Slipped away with candlelight
Leather chaps and cattle drives
This is not the life I meant to lead

Call it a detour
Ugly and impure
Save yourself
But where is the life line
Here on the highline
Save yourself

Dylan's Favorite Type of Lady Cage Match

The other day at PAJIBA we had a good talk about red haired women and the men who love them. I count myself as one of those guys but it's not only the scarlet haired beauties that catch my eye. I also enjoy other varieties of the fairer sex. Today we will list my top 3 "types" and talk about why each of them are so irresistible to this writer.

# 3- Jewish girls- They don't have to practice the faith but women folk who come from this back round have a sway over me. The dark hair, the smoldering eyes and the fact that dating one of God's chosen people might earn me some brownie points come apocalypse time all appeal to me. I have yet to date a girl from this group but I have a delicious hook up memory from my sophomore year of college.

# 2 Red Head's- These girls are just a lot of fun. Every one I have known in the biblical sense or just as friends know how to have a good time. Like I mentioned on Pajiba the other day it has been my experience that most women with red hair have also been blessed with fantastic racks which is like being gifted a new car filled with gold. The popular jokes around her are usually disparaging "fire crotches" but I could really care less the fire haired ladies of the world are more than alright in my book.

# 1 Latina's!!! - Even though my ex is one I wouldn't dream of holding against the rest of these women. What do I like about them? Well let's see, the are all hot and I mean all of them, when I traveled to South America I found that in each country people thought their women were the best. Venezuelan girls laughed at Argentine ones, Argentinian women thought they were way hotter than Chilean or Paraguayan girls and pretty much everyone was jealous of Brazil. To me though it doesn't matter- they are all gorgeous. Girls who were deemed average looking to other Latin Americans looked liked models to me and I was mocked for thinking that some of the maids I saw were pretty damn cute. They are generally alot of fun to hang out with and let's face it, Spanish is a pretty sexy language. It's because of this attraction that I am 99.9% sure I will father a little Pablito at some point in my life.

So there you have it my top 3. Keep in mind that although I prefer these groups it's been well over a month since sex so much right now I'm like Don Johnson in that the only thing I'm needing right now is a "Heartbeat - I'm looking for a heartbeat"